GE|Adults|Advanced|17. “Love or money?”
Discuss the quotes with your teacher
«Too many people spend money that they haven’t earned to buy things that they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.»
— Will Rogers, US actor
«A lot of people get so hung up on what they can’t have that they don’t think for a second about whether they really want it.»
— Lionel Shriver, Checker and the Derailleurs
«Money is a great servant but a bad master.»
— Francis Bacon
Number the items both men and women search in their partners in order of importance
|men look for…||women look for…|
|a good education|
|a healthy bank balance|
|an attractive personality|
Read the first part of the article and answer the questions
Do women really want to marry for money?
According to a report from the London School of Economics, women are now more determined than ever to find a partner who will improve their financial prospects. ‘Women’s aspirations to «marry up«, if they can, to a man who is better-educated and higher earning persists in most European countries,’ says the report’s author, Catherine Hakim. ‘Women continue to use marriage as an alternative or supplement to their employment careers,’ she concludes. By logical extension, it would appear men are keen to «marry down«, although nobody seems to query, much less gather statistics on, their matrimonial motives. Arguably, there’s nothing surprising in these findings, especially when you consider women with young children. A recent study by the National Centre for Social Research revealed that a third of all mothers would prefer to give up their jobs if they could afford to and three-fifths said they would want to work fewer hours.
1. What points from the previous exercise does it back up ?
2. Did you find the studies mentioned surprising?
Read and listen to the article and choose JL (Jemima Lewis) or JM (JoJo Moyes) for every question
Pilates — a physical fitness system which focuses on posture
Waitrose — an upmarket UK supermarket chain
We asked journalist Jemima Lewis and novelist JoJo Moyes what they thought.
«Yes,» says Jemima Lewis
Women want rich husbands. Perhaps we don’t often say it — perhaps we don’t even like to admit it to ourselves — but women are practical creatures. A rich husband gives you options.
One of the perks of being female is that you grow up knowing there’s a slim chance that you might be able to marry a millionaire and retire before you hit middle age. If he is rich enough, your husband might pay for teams of nannies to look after your children while you busy yourself with Pilates. Working women like me tend to regard such wives with a disapproving eye. We call them «trophy wives», as if to distinguish them from the real thing, but that is partly just to distract ourselves from the envy inside.
Whether you fill your days with Pilates or child-rearing, not having to work is…well, less like hard work. Unfortunately, rich husbands, like handsome princes, are not easy to come by. Most of us, not moving in millionaire circles, are likely to fall in love with and marry a more normal bloke. In the meanwhile, you might have built up a career that you are proud of, and reluctant to give up. If you then have a baby, you are doomed to an inner life of conflict and guilt as you try to find a way to bring up your child without going bankrupt or insane.
Like a winning lottery ticket, a rich husband would solve your problems at a stroke, allowing you to calibrate your work-life balance to suit yourself, rather than your mortgage provider.
«No,» says JoJo Moyes
Today’s young women, having observed their mothers juggling a full-time job and all the domestic responsibility, having the odd nervous breakdown and still having to look glamorous, have now decided they’d prefer to be kept by a wealthy husband. Who can blame them? There are times — usually when sick children and deadlines collide — that I think the same thing.
But marry rich and you may marry a man who views you as a commodity. You may spend much of your time alone; a high-flying career often means an absent husband and father. You can marry for money, but it’s not a marriage. It’s a deal. And I suspect only the toughest of women can see that with the clarity it requires. The divorce courts are littered with high earners, as well as the shattered dreams of traded-in middle-aged wives who have been replaced by a younger, more glamorous model. My children have long played a game called ‘Who’s got the sourest face?’ in Waitrose. It’s always the wives in the really expensive cars.
My husband and I have taken turns as the highest earner. Earning my own money means I don’t have to justify my shoe habit, and he doesn’t shoulder the mortgage alone. And having a career brings me more contentment than having a designer handbag.
So, I wouldn’t be delighted if my daughter ended up with a dropout. But I’d feel worse if she thought the most important thing about a man was his bank balance.
By Judith Woods in The Telegraph
Who of the women
Explain the sentences and the expressions from the article
1. By logical extension, it would appear men are keen to «marry down» …
2. We call them «trophy wives», as if to distinguish them from the real thing…
3. …calibrate your work-life balance to suit yourself, rather than your mortgage provider.
4. But marry rich and you may marry a man who views you as a commodity.
5. …the shattered dreams of traded-in middle-aged wives…
6. Earning my own money means I don’t have to justify my shoe habit
7. I wouldn’t be delighted if my daughter ended up with a dropout.
Read the information below and analyse metaphors from the text
These are words or phrases not used literally, but used to describe somebody or something in a more dramatic way to make a description more powerful, e.g. doomed to an inner life of conflict and guilt where doomeddoesn’t literally mean certain to fail, die, or be destroyed.
1. Today’s young women, having observed their mothers juggling a full-time job and all the domestic responsibility, having the odd nervous breakdown and still having to look glamorous, have now decided they’d prefer to be kept by a wealthy husband.
2. There are times — usually when sick children and deadlines collide — that I think the same thing.
3. … a high-flying career often means an absent husband and father.
4. The divorce courts are littered with high earners, as well as the shattered dreams of traded-in middle-aged wives who have been replaced by a younger, more glamorous model.
5. My children have long played a game called «Who’s got the sourest face?» in Waitrose.
6. Earning my own money means I don’t have to justify my shoe habit, and he doesn’t shoulder the mortgage alone.
Discuss the questions with your teacher
1. «Today’s young women, having observed their mothers juggling a full-time job and all the domestic responsibility, having the odd nervous breakdown and still having to look glamorous, have now decided they’d prefer to be kept by a wealthy husband.» Do you agree with this statement? Why?
2. How important to you is having a high-flying career? Why?
3. «The divorce courts are littered with high earners, as well as the shattered dreams of traded-in middle-aged wives who have been replaced by a younger, more glamorous model.» Is this situation similar in your country? In your opinion, is the divorce rate higher among rich people? Why?
Look at the highlighted verbs in these sentences and answer the questions
1. When we got married, my husband and I were penniless students.
2. If he got promoted, we’d be able to afford a new car.
3. I wish we were better off.
4. It’s time we thought about buying a bigger house.
5. I wasn’t at all surprised when I heard that they had divorced.
6. I’d rather my husband stayed at home with the children.
7. I wish I‘d accepted when he asked me to marry him!
8. If I‘d married him, I would have a much better standard of living.
🔹Which ones refer to things that really happened in the past?
🔹What do the others have in common?
🔹Which ones refer to the present or future?
🔹Which ones refer to the past?
Agree or disagree with the statements
1. It’s time my boss offered me a promotion.
2. I’d rather my partner helped me more around the house.
3. I wish I’d told the truth when I had an opportunity.
Read the rules
1. It’s so expensive! I wish I could afford it!
I wish (that) you hadn’t spoken to Jane like that ─ you know how sensitive she is.
2. If only he were a bit less stubborn! Then we wouldn’t have so many arguments!
If only you hadn’t forgotten the map, we’d be there by now.
3. I wish she were a bit more generous.
If only the weather were a bit warmer, we could walk there.
4. I’d rather you left your dog outside ─ I’m allergic to animals.
Are you sure this is a good time to talk? Would you rather I called back later?
5. Don’t you think it’s time you found a job? It’s six months since you finished university!
1. We use wish + Past Simple to talk about things we would like to be different in the present/future (but which are impossible or unlikely).
We use wish + Past Perfect to talk about things which happened/didn’t happen in the past and which we now regret.
a) We sometimes use that after wish.
2. You can also use If only… instead of wish with the Past Simple and Past Perfect. This can be used by itself (If only I knew!) or with another clause.
a) If only is slightly more emphatic than wish.
b) When we want to talk about things we want to happen or stop happening because they annoy us, we use wish or If only + person/thing + would + infinitive, e.g. I wish the bus would come! If only he wouldn’t keep whistling when I’m working!
3. We can use were instead of was for I/he/she/it after wish and if only.
4. We use would rather + subject + past tense to express a preference.
a) We can also use would rather + infinitive without to when there is no change of subject, e.g. I‘d rather not talk about it. However, we cannot use this structure when the subject changes after would rather, e.g. I‘d rather you didn’t talk about it. NOT
I’d rather you not talk about it.
b) When we want to refer to the past we use would rather + have + -ed form (perfect infinitive without to), e.g. I’d rather have seen it at the cinema than on DVD.
c) When the subjects of the two clauses are different, we often use the past simple to talk about the present or future, and the past perfect to talk about the past.
5. We use the Past Simple after It’s (high) time + subject to say that something has to be done now or in the near future.
a) We can also use It’s time + to + infinitive when we don’t want to specify the subject, e.g. It’s time to go now.
Answer the questions
Do you ever wish…?
- you could meet a wealthy partner
- you had been born in another decade or century
- you could have a year off to travel
- you could learn a new skill
- you had chosen to study different subjects at school or university
- you had more free time for your hobbies
- you lived in another town or city
Rewrite the sentences using the word or phrase in the gaps
Listen to the song and fill in the gaps
Complete with the right form of the verb in boxes
Complete the mini-dialogues with the correct form of the words given
Complete the second sentence so it means the same as the first using the words in the gaps
Complete the sentences with the words from the lesson
The Joneses — from the idiom ‘keep up with the Joneses’, which means to try and have all the possessions and social achievements that your friends and neighbours have.
Read the article and choose the correct sentences A-F to to fill in the gaps and make a story complete. There is one sentence you do not need to use
A People’s aspirations tend to rise as their incomes rise, so rather quickly they start to think of a lot of additional things that they need to buy. So they end up no happier than they were before.
B Or they are more likely to hold jobs in which people defer to them.
C The apparent contradiction is that people don’t seem to be any happier now than they were then despite their enrichment through economic growth, but that people who are richer at any one time are happier on average than people who are poorer.
D They think it’s important to try to make everyone as happy as they possibly can be.
E Increase the total amount of happiness, which means enabling people to have better human relationships.
F Happiness academics do accept that richer people are, by and large, happier than their poorer neighbours.
Match the words with their definitions
Listen to the article on «mobile affluenza clinics». Which of the following things are mentioned in the article?
Listen to the text again and choose the correct answer, according to the article
- Money or love
- Women's opinion
- Vocab in context
- Real or unreal?
- Unreal past
- Do you ever wish?
- Unreal past practice
- Material girl
- Practicing unreal past
- Would you rather?
- Unreal past
- Vocab in context
- Does money make you happy?